Bro on the Go Page 2

  A BRO WITH HIS FIANCÉE AT A THAI COOKING CLASS

  Seriously?

  ABOUT BARNEY, BY BARNEY

  BARNEY STINSON is a handsome man you can totally trust your daughters with who is best known for blowing up the blogosphere with www.barneysblog.com and for sleeping with more than 200 women. Barney speaks 83 different languages, can move small objects with his mind, is a professional athlete,1 and may or may not be involved in the sexy world of espionage. Oh, and every year he builds orphanages or wells or whatever in poor areas of the world, if that’s the sort of thing that turns you on.

  1 You being a member of the Swedish Academy or another academy, institution, or society similar to it in construction and purpose; a professor of literature or linguistics at a university or college; or a previous Nobel Prize Laureate in Literature.

  1 Sold title rights to adult film industry

  2 Sold title rights to adult film industry

  3 Sold title rights and life story to adult film industry—in negotiations to star in the movie or at least “pitch in” on casting decisions

  1 EXCEPTIONS: Co-worker is an eight or better; you are co-worker’s superior; co-worker dresses a little slutty; getting fired from job not such a bad thing; company recently sued for sexual harassment—unlikely to happen again; someone makes a bet that you can’t; you are switching floors soon; you and co-worker get stuck in an elevator; you hit the emergency button and get “stuck” in the elevator with co-worker; co-worker going to be fired, or soon will be, after you sabotage co-worker’s files; you mixed it up with co-worker before becoming co-workers; co-worker hits on you; you are in a little bit of a rut, romantically speaking; co-worker going through divorce; co-worker looking pretty good lately; co-worker not offended when you “accidentally” email provocative pictures of self to office.

  1 The Professional Laser Tag Association (PLTA) is awaiting both funding and general interest.